letting go

yesterday i took russell to the library for storytime. before natalie started school, we all went to their "family storytime" where moms, dads, and kids of all ages were welcomed, on fridays at 11:00. I would have continued to take russell to that class but that particular time interfered with driving natalie to school. so this week i finally looked up other times/classes available and was even open to going to a new library. i decided to try a new class for russell. luckily, it was at the same library, which is less than a mile away from our house. the class is called "preschool storytime," which is limited to 3 and 4 year olds, and they go in all by themselves. i was nervous about how russell would take to something like that -- if he would cry and run out, sit and behave, be able to COMMUNICATE (since it's hard for other people to understand what he's saying), but i said to myself: this is what he needs so let's just try it! i walked him in the class at 11:30 yesterday and sat him down on his very own square mat, briefly explained to him that i was going to leave the room and how he needed to sit and be a big boy, and turned around and walked out. it felt so weird but i was excited at the same time. while he was in his "class" i was able to return, renew, and check out some library books in peace and quiet. that was so nice! when i was done i went over to wait by the door to the room he was in. eventually, one by one the kids started to walk out. i saw him, but he didn't see me right away, and then i saw him start to get upset. when he found me, he let out a small sad cry but i hugged him real tight to comfort him and let him know that i would never leave him. then he proudly showed me his craft that he made, a cutout of an apple with the letter "A" pasted in the middle. i asked him if he liked storytime and if he wanted to come back next week, in which he replied to both questions "YEAH MOMMY". i'm so proud of the little guy. he really needs stuff like this to help him progress in his speech and language, and i think that he is finally open and ready for it! me, on the other hand, i'm slowly learning to let go of my baby... =)